


Gosh We Love You

by exandriantrashpanda (topothesia)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Bisexual Disaster, Crushes, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22351870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topothesia/pseuds/exandriantrashpanda
Summary: Liam doesn't mean to collect a series of crushes on his friends; it just sort of happens along the way. It’s not that he wants to act on any or all of them -- although his dreams might indicate otherwise -- it’s just, have you met his friends? His second family? They’re amazing and wonderful and gosh, he just loves them all so much. Too much, sometimes.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	Gosh We Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt on the critical kink meme. Thanks, prompter!

Liam doesn't mean to collect a series of crushes on his friends; it just sort of happens along the way. It’s not that he wants to act on any or all of them -- although his dreams might indicate otherwise -- it’s just, have you met his friends? His second family? They’re amazing and wonderful and gosh, he just loves them all so much. Too much, sometimes. 

Sam is first, of course, and always a constant. Liam couldn’t even tell you when his feelings went from “best friends forever” to whatever complex constellation of love (and lust) they are now. Their lives are now intertwined in so many ways, and Liam doesn’t know what he’d do without him. He hopes he’ll never have to find out, which is why anything beyond Twitch-acceptable cuddling can never happen, or so he reminds himself every time he and Sam share a hotel room at a con. Maybe he leans into the phrase “work husband” a little too hard on Between the Sheets just to remind himself more than anyone else of the boundaries of their relationship. But then Sam crawls into his lap or makes jokes about their mandated man-dates or points at his dick on Talks or they both participate in increasingly elaborate “adventures” on All Work No Play that seem to just end up as excuses for them to be in close physical proximity. After most of them, Liam’s left laughing and internally wondering why he even bothers to pretend that they aren’t husbands. But that shared pretense is what holds everything together for them, and he isn’t sure what would happen if it was stripped away.

Matt is a joy. Liam remembers the first time he dared to flirt with Matt as Gilmore back when they were still playing at home, and how eagerly Matt engaged with him. He’s pretty sure that’s the moment his crush on Matt took root, and it’s been growing ever since with every scene they play, with every magical moment they create at the table. He will never forget how Matt somehow managed to transform Vax’s setbacks and losses into a series of experiences that helped him endure the hardships he was facing away from the table. Liam sometimes wishes he could give Matt the gift of genuinely seeing himself how others see him, or at least how Liam sees him. (And, well, sometimes Liam would like to give himself the gift of seeing Matt naked, but that’s another story.)

Marisha is someone the world keeps underestimating and discounting, and Liam spends a lot of time angry about that on her behalf. He’s pretty sure their friendship transmuted to love (on his part) when she was there for him during one of the worst times of his life. She’s gorgeous, of course, but what Liam loves most about her is her indomitable spirit. She and Matt are perfect for each other, and that’s what Liam reminds himself whenever the demon on his shoulder whispers suggestions in his ear about what it could be like to take creative direction from her in the bedroom. (He really wishes it wouldn’t whisper such things when they’re in meetings.)

Laura is a constant surprise and delight, a gloriously expressive human being who’s always the first one to be in on a prank. She’s practically his sister, but sometimes when she dresses up for shows, Liam finds himself having decidedly un-brotherly feelings about her. He misses being able to embrace her nigh-constantly for a few hours every Thursday, but the current table set-up probably helps to keep him more focused. Well, until Marisha accidentally smacks him in the face or Sam nudges his foot under the table. But, well, Travis. He’s danced at their wedding, he’s “Uncle Lemur” to their son -- what kind of an asshole would want to get in the middle of that? It’s better to stay faux siblings. Of course it is.

Travis is so much more than he seems to be on the surface, and Liam never gets tired of discovering something new about him that he’s done or that he’s capable of doing. He’s pretty sure he can live without doing CrossFit ever again with him, though, although certainly he’s thought about other ways that the two of them could get sweaty. He’s pretty sure Travis could pick him up easily, and the thought of those possibilities has entertained him more than once during a bout of insomniac stargazing. But reducing Travis to just his strength or his looks is a mistake; there’s so much more about him that Liam adores. But, well, he’s married to Liam’s sister, among other things.

Ashley is the one he’s missed the most. She’s just so -- she’s so pretty, as Buddy would say, but she’s more than that. Sometimes it seems like her voice gets lost when all of them can be so loud or when she’s been gone for so long, but when she has a chance to be heard, everyone's shocked when she's secretly the most devious or hilarious or outrageous of them all. Liam finds her delightful wherever she is: at the gaming table, in the booth next to him or being directed by him, on the show that shall not be named which took her away from them for so long: anywhere and everywhere. (He’d find her delightful in his bed or kneeling before her on the Talks Machina couch, but he’s trying not to think those thoughts too often.) It was fun to play presidential election with her -- especially the bits where they got to team up to torment Sam -- and he can’t ask for much more, can he? 

Taliesin is someone they all joke about being an eldritch being, but sometimes Liam wonders if it’s actually true. He’s done so much; he knows so much; he has the most amazing mental and physical collections of esoterica. He knows so many people, a collection as eclectic as the many colors of his hair, and all of them say the same things about him: he’s both delightfully weird and a genuine friend. And he gives the best hugs, and he’s so lovely to cuddle with, which is why it’s terrible of Liam to wonder what it would be like to cuddle naked with him. Or “cuddle,” for that matter. Because he’s such a good friend, such a genuinely wonderful and possibly immortal pyramid of a human being, and Liam can’t ask for more from him. Or any of them. 

It’s Taliesin who calls him out one day: “What’s going on with you lately?” he asks when it’s just him and Liam making tea in the studio kitchen on a Tuesday afternoon.

“Professionally? Personally? With the family?” Liam asks. 

“Let’s say personally,” Taliesin says, gazing over at Liam with a perceptive look that makes Liam squirm. “You’re squirming already. I’m onto something.”

“Why are you always so good at reading people?” Liam asks.

“My centuries of experience among you mortals has given me certain advantages,” Taliesin says, taking a sip of his tea.

Liam laughs and then goes silent, drinking his own tea in an attempt to avoid having to speak. 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Taliesin says, putting his cup down and fiddling with the manatee tea leaf holder hooked onto the rim. 

“Why do you think something’s going on with me?” Liam says, trying not to sound defensive.

Taliesin shrugs. “You just seem very…” he pauses to think of the right word. “Very reactive lately. With everyone. Like you can’t believe your luck that we’re your friends even though I’d hope that was obvious to you by now after this many decades. Or sometimes I see you gazing into space, or getting all goofy after someone gives you a hug or pays you a compliment. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had a crush on someone or were early into a relationship with them.”

Liam blinks and stares at Taliesin. “Shit, it’s that obvious?” he says. 

“Not really?” Taliesin says. “If it were, all of us would be teasing you mercilessly about it or trying to get information out of you. Or both. I just notice things.”

“You do,” Liam says. He fiddles with his mug for a moment, looking down into the liquid as if he can read his future at the bottom of the cup. “Okay. I do have a crush.”

“Do tell,” Taliesin says with that delighted “this is fascinating” lilt in his voice that makes Liam’s heart flip over. “Who is the lucky one?”

“Well, that’s the problem. I kinda have crushes on all of you?” Liam says. “That doesn’t even make any sense. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Taliesin says, and he looks down at his own mug for a minute. “All of us?” he asks. 

“Yes, all of you that I’m closest to -- not just Sam, not just the ladies, not just the ladies and Sam,” Liam says. 

“And you haven’t told any of us because…?” Taliesin asks.

“Because… because it would mean admitting a whole lot of things that I haven’t been really ready to admit to myself, let alone to anyone else -- and definitely not to the entire Internet. Not to mention that it has the potential to utterly destroy our personal and professional lives?” Liam says. 

“I don’t think admitting your feelings to people is going to cause the end of life as we know it,” Taliesin says.

“Yeah, but… I can’t act on those feelings for a lot of really good reasons. Yes, even with Sam,” Liam says, anticipating what Taliesin’s about to ask. “So what’s the point of telling people that they’re there, other than to make a total fool of myself and make life incredibly awkward for a while? And that’s the best case scenario.”

“Ah,” Taliesin says, looking at Liam with genuine sympathy and -- is Liam reading this wrong? -- a glint of resonant understanding in his eyes. “So what are you going to do?”

Liam sighs. “I don’t know. Just keep on with how things are? I’m not unhappy. I love all of you so much. Just sometimes… well, sometimes.” He slumps forward, letting his head gently hit the table.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Taliesin asks. 

“About you?” Liam asks, picking his head up. 

“Of course,” Taliesin says. “I’m not in the habit of telling other people’s.”

“Then yes,” Liam says.

“You’re not the only one with crushes,” Taliesin says, his face turning pink. He looks away and clears his throat. 

“You?” Liam asks, sitting up fully so that he can study Taliesin better. “How many of us?”

“I believe we’re in the same boat,” Taliesin says quietly. “But, well, even though my reasons aren’t all the same as your reasons, let’s just say they overlap in some ways.”

“Oh,” Liam says, and it’s his turn to be slightly stunned. “Well. Thank you?”

“Thank you for being honest with me as well,” Taliesin says. “Even if that’s all we can give each other, it’s a very precious gift.”

“It is,” Liam says.

“So,” Taliesin says, picking up his mug.

“So,” Liam says, mirroring Taliesin’s action. 

“Do we toast to unrequited love and then go get some damn work done?” Taliesin asks, holding his mug out.

“Cheers, dear,” Liam says, clinking his mug against Taliesin’s.


End file.
